The bad kind of dirty

Written by G. Wright

          I love dirty talk. Who doesn’t? We’ve all had that moment when just the right thing was said at just the right time to get you where you needed to go. Here’s a little story about a time that does NOT constitute as one of those moments.

          We had chilled together the entire night. I was still recovering from a recent heartbreak and he was there to stroke my hair as I licked my wounds. We didn’t meet at a bar – there was no chance of this being a one-night stand. We were friends who had shared intimate details of our lives with one another. There was no talk of a romantic love that night either. We did speak about working together in the future and he even expressed his concern for our working relationship; at one point he said, “If we work together we absolutely cannot hook up”. That “line” should have been my first indication of his real intentions. But alas…….After hours of talking and drinking on my floor without making a move it was time for me walk him out.
         He was almost out the door; right as I reached for the handle he pushed me against the wall and kissed me. It was so abrupt he knocked his teeth into me, but after a quick smile of recognition for the awkward moment, we got it super right.

        “I want to stay and make out with you all night,” he whispered in my ear between kisses.
        “Luckily it’s already morning,” was my smartass response.

        I pushed him away and opened the door for him.

        “Wait. One more.” He cupped my face in his hands and lightly kissed my lips. “I love your kiss.”

        “Does this mean I’m fired?” I had really liked his project idea and I was genuinely concerned in that moment that perhaps I had ruined my chances of associate producing on it because I accepted this kiss.
        He smiled. “You are so hired.”

        The next afternoon he called to hang out. I was busy. The same thing happened for three consecutive days. We finally made it happen. Another awesome date. Wine, laughter, NYC was our third wheel and we loved it. Halfway through the night and two bottles of truth juice later I wondered why he and I hadn’t dated before. We just clicked. Without trying we finished one another’s sentences, understood jokes that didn’t even make sense. I remember thinking, This would totally be someone worth sleeping with. I threw caution to the wind knowing our friendship might hit the fan and invited him into the plush cloud that doubles as my bed.

        I wasn’t sure what to make of the situation.

        He had pinned me down in an uncomfortable position and it didn’t seem like he would be ready to let me move anytime soon. Whenever I tried to actually engage in what was happening he shushed me. I had never been in this situation before. I didn’t feel violated, but I wasn’t feeling much of anything.

        I noticed a crack in my bedroom ceiling.

        What a waste of a notch on my belt. I didn’t want to make too many holes to begin with. I was in mid thought trying to figure out how to make this one “not count” when I heard, “You like my cock-a-too?”

        W. T. F. did he just say?

        I didn’t respond immediately due to shock.

        “Yeah, you love this cockie.”

        Is he serious? I speechless – a rarity. I managed to push him off me.

        In the words of my Jedi Master, Officially turned off, I was.

        “I haven’t finished.” He told me this as if it were information I would take in with interest.
        “Dude, you didn’t even start.” I pulled the blanket over myself and got out of bed. It began as a slight giggle and quickly escalated to full on laughter. It would be too simple to say I was laughing at the reference to his penis, but it was bigger than just that moment. This entire situation was comical.
        I had never felt that male gene of detachment but here it was. I didn’t care that we had sex and I wasn’t interested in cuddling or cooking for this guy. In fact, I couldn’t believe I had allowed him the pleasure of enjoying a piece of me.
        “You and your cockie have to go.” I laughed even harder.